I was inspired by Hope’s beautifully written post from yesterday. Thank you Hope for your continuously amazing posts!

______________________________________________________

I’m afraid of commitment, but when its right, I’m all for it. If its wrong i will know immediately by the hyperventilating panic attack I have when they suggest going doing anything other than talking across a plate of food.

I am fiercely loyal. When I’m with someone, I’m with just that person and my mind is focused solely on them. No matter how bad it gets I will not stray. I may want to but I have too much respect for the person I’m with to hurt them in such a way, without regard to their actually respecting me.

I’m also rather independent, liking my “me” time. However when I like someone a lot, I want to spend time with them and see them as often as I can. Sometimes this is misconstrued as coming on too strong, or clingy. Maybe it is, maybe its not.

I’m a physical person, showing my affections through kisses, a touch, cuddling under the covers and long embracing hugs. I’m also a very sexual person, often loving the act more than my partners do. Often I am blamed for just wanting sex, when it is never actually the case.

I kiss with my eyes open, liking to watch the reaction. Theres nothing hotter than when the guy is staring right back at you as you are in a heated makeout session. I’m a bit of a voyeur as well, watching for a rise, a reaction from my techniques. Visual, auditory, anything to encourage me going further.

I am upfront, if I like you, you’ll know it. I do not beat around the bush, I do not play games. I don’t see the purpose of them, do not see the purpose of hiding your feelings.

I love the beginnings of relationships for the butterflies, the newness of discovering someone elses quirks and what makes them tick, exploring their bodies. What I love more is the relationship after its developed more and you have someone that just knows you, inside and out, and loves you anyway.

I like security. I like being in control of a situation. Its hard for me to recede power to the other person, leaving it all in their hands. It is sort of like a roller coaster. I would probably like the ride a lot more if I were driving.

I am a creature of habit, I like having a routine with that special person. However I am also spontaneous, I will make plans the day of should it arise. I like someone who can be flexible, who doesn’t mind if plans go awry. Things often change last minute and I am able to adapt well. Those who cannot, do not work well with me.

I am a passionate person, generous with my time, my attention and my love. I do not like when people take advantage of this and will often punish by revoking their rights to any of these. I can be bitter, I can certainly hold grudges. You lying about an exgirlfriend 5 months into a relationship? Damn right I’ll still bring it up 2 and a half years later should the situation call for it.

I put up with a lot. It is my weakness, my biggest fault.  I am not a doormat but will take a lot of crap before I break. I will cry till there are no more tears, but I won’t give up until the bitter end. If I think the relationship has a chance, I will give it chance after chance. I will fight for it. I won’t let it go until it is barely flopping on the floor, the life practically sucked out of it.

I love small gestures; emails, text messages, calls just to say hello or tell me about something they saw. An “It was really good to see you”, an “I’ve missed you” will leave me smiling for hours. I like to know that I’m on their minds during the day, that I’m not forgotten about. That I matter enough.

Despite all the heartache I have been through, I still let people in, still give out my heart to those who I see fit to have it. It has been mishandled a lot, but each break leads to a mending that only reinforces and makes it stronger for the next go-around.

Despite all the heartache, I’m getting closer and closer to giving my heart away again to someone who has already dropped it twice. Some will call it a lack of judgement, I just call it the way I am.

Your response: