Reaching Out to the Future

20-Something Writers put out a writing prompt that I simply couldn’t refuse. Write a letter to your future self, 15 years from now. Its so easy to give advice in hindsight, how fascinating would it be to write towards the future, towards the unknown?

So here we go.

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Dear Ashley at 42,

You probably are laughing right now at how scared you were to turn 27, how old you thought you were. Just thinking that in fifteen years from now I will be 42 is a little frightening, i’m not going to lie; although I’m sure when I was 12, thinking of myself at 27 was scary too. I’m sure you’re just fine with your age though, totally living life as I always imagined I would.

I hope you found happiness with yourself, rather than with someone else. That you came to love your little quirks, and stopped worrying about what other people thought of you. Its such a pesky little self esteem issue and really needs to be put to rest. You better not ever have settled for less than you deserved, even if it took you a little while longer to find that one person that works for you. The one that makes you so happy, who surprises you daily, even hourly. Who makes you laugh every day, who doesn’t mind your neurosis and in fact loves you for them, has just as much wanderlust and openmindedness as you,  and keeps you on your toes. I do hope by now though that you have found him. I don’t know if I could take another 15 years of this dating thing.

I hope you found the courage to just quit that first job of yours and are able to laugh about how ridiculously stupid and petty it was there, that you found a great job that made you believe in interior design again. A job that used that creative spark that has to be hiding in me somewhere, used all the talent everyone always tells me I have, but I never believe in because I’m stuck playing receptionist. But i’m sure you dont’ want to relive the anger caused by this job so we’ll move on.

I also hope that you pursued your dream of photography, that you took those classes and really went after it as more than a hobby. I think you’re good at it, could even be successful with it.  If a job happened to have opened up where you could merge our two passions together, I better find out you took it.

I hope you took that trip to Europe you dreamt about when you were 27, that you didn’t listen to our mother’s insistance that you are incapable of quitting your job, traveling in foreign countries where you don’t speek the language and taking care of yourself. I’m going to guess that you didn’t get raped/mugged/kidnapped for ransom/forced to become a stripper/or any other insane notions our mother comes up with, just because I’m pondering that very trip right now. I hope it pushed you past your comfort zone and you were able to handle things better than you expected,  and that it brought you some insight into what you wanted to be, where you wanted to go in life. Even if it didn’t do any of that, I hope it was a blast and that you got to see parts of the world you wouldn’t normally see by just vacationing.

Please take the time to stop and smell the roses; I know that it was hard in NYC and it was rush rush rush. I hope you found a city (or town) that allows you to slow down and enjoy the moments as they’re happening. That you got the courage to move out of NYC and away from your friends, but still kept in touch with them. There are a few you could use to lose, but there are some that you need to keep in your life.

Don’t worry, I’m sure you don’t look any older than 25, considering I still look 16. I’m sure you’re embracing that fact right now huh? I’m sure you’re still getting carded at bars. Which I know you’ll still be attending. And if you happen to be in a relationship/married/whatever–I hope you’re having lots of sex. It would depress me incredibly to learn that I have a sad sex life.

Most importantly, I hope you’re happy. We’re happy.

Now I must bask in the gloriousness that is my twenties (gotta enjoy it while I still can!) and plan my next big trip.

Much love,

A Younger You.