Who Ordered This Life?
When we are younger we always dream about how our life is going to be. Along the way we change our expectations depending on our experiences and the maturity gained throughout the years. We dream, we set goals. Sometimes we succeed, other times we fail. Life is constantly changing, and it never really turns out just the way you planned. It may not be what you expected, but it may just turn out to be better than what you had planned out for yourself.
I’m 26 and i never planned on being in school for 7 and a half years. I didn’t plan on being an interior designer. I never dreamed I’d get to live in NYC and have experienced as much as I have. I never imagined my family to turn out to be cool. When I was 8 I thought my friends I had then would be with me forever. When I was 14 I had dreams of going to UCLA not FIT. When I was 16, I thought I would be married by the ripe old age of 22, have kids and live in the suburbs. When I was 22 I thought I was going to be married by 26 to my boyfriend, live in CT the rest of my life and thought my life was set. But things change.
The life I ordered turned out to not be what i wanted. I didn’t want to live in CT for the rest of my life, I didn’t want to have children with my boyfriend and I didn’t want to be in that relationship any longer. So I exchanged it for the life I have now: that of serial dating, big cities and uncertainties. I find myself taking a look at the life I ordered and deciding if i want to keep it, or trade it up for a better one.
Life is constantly evolving and I’m just trying to keep up.
“Things never turn out exactly the way you planned. I know they didn’t with me. Still, like my father used to say, ‘Traffic’s traffic, you go where life takes you’ and growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next you’re gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a time a place, a particular fourth of July, the things that happened in that decade of war and change. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder.”